Relationships · Spilled Ink

The Battle Between Numbers and Character—which one should prevail?

I don’t know why you’re reading this. Maybe because you’ve seen this post through internet and the title did caught your attention? Or maybe you’re expecting that I’d tell you something about math and science, tell you formulas and stuffs or trivia and facts? But honey, I’m sorry to burst your bubble but this post isn’t about that. This is far more important than that.

Before I start to tell you something that’s really worth your read, let me first define the meaning of a “Friend” based on Merriam-Webster dictionary.

– one attached to another by affection or esteem
– a favored companion

So to simply put, a friend is someone who you really like, shares interests with and someone who you favors most of the time. You can joke anytime around them because you feel too comfortable, confident, and secure whenever you’re with them. I’ve been with hundreds of friends. Yes, you’ve read that right, hundreds. But now that I’m 20, you can now count my dearly beloved friends not more than the fingers of my hands and feet. But what really happened?

Throughout your life, you’ll meet thousands of people. Most of the time, you meet your friends inside your schools and/or universities. Some might meet them in a coffee shop while sipping their favorite cup of coffee. You can also meet friends while you’re on a class trip, swimming in the pool and realizing that you both suck at swimming then the next thing you know, you’re now talking to each other for hours. You just feel it that you’ve clicked. Cliche, but that happens.

Back then, I was playing the field and exploring what was it like to have many friends. So I became very friendly, sociable, and nicer. I’ve met a lot of people. We happened to be on the same group. And yes, this was my choice. By that time, I enjoyed the times that we had, every single time that we’d hung out together, drank liquors, talked about shits ’til we’re so drunk that we couldn’t see the street signs. We’d hung out in one of my closest friend’s house, talked about boys, love, and the people who we really didn’t liked at all. It was fun at first. Until it got out of control.

Have you ever been in a relationship (may it be romantic or platonic) and realized that it isn’t worth it anymore? I realized that I have to stop whatever we’re doing and must focus on the real stuff that matters. That group was divided, physically tiring, and toxic.

It was a turning point in my life. I distanced myself to people and started to assess myself every single time. No, I didn’t disregarded my friends way back then, I just realized who my real friends are.

Quantity versus Quality
Numbers versus Character

It’s nice to have more friends, but it’s damaging if things go out of your hands. And to tell you the truth, I wish I was wiser back then. I wish I am not that naive. I thought it would be cool to hang out with these kind of people, but no. It wasn’t. 

Upon realizing what I really want in terms of friendship, my true friends came through for me. These friends are still with me up until now. They got me through bad and good times, and I will be forever thankful to them.

For many years now since then, I always hung on into that quotation. Quality comes first. My standard comes first. I really don’t care how many of my friends stayed, for as long as they stayed because they still want me to be a part of their life, vice-versa, and because we both love each other.

Of course, I cannot speak for everyone but based on what I’ve been through, it’s better to have than one true friend that have a bunch of ill-weathered friends. I know that the quote “Choose your friends wisely” is kinda overrated, but if you really choose the right person/people and let them be into your life, it will be worth it.


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